then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
