dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
