i need an iv and a liver transplant
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
