I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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