So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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