Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
