he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
