all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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