Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Come see our sink grown plant.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
