If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
