my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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