my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I smell stomach acid.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
