I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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