ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
