I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
