The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
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Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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