Little spoons don't ask big questions
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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