i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
