I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
