I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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