There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
