Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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