Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
