Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
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I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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