In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
A bitchslap is in order.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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