I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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