I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
high people should be assigned attendants
operation have a gay friend backfired
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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