just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
