new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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