i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
