I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
