i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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