exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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