Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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