He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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