im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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