I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
