Just cropdusted the office
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize