I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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