we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
