It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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