i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
