WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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