Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
