so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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