why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
