The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
