This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
