dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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