I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
