I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
