I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
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He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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