i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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