you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
