I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
