Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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