i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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