i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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