its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
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I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
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I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude