I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...