I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
