at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
