so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
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You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
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I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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